


"Journey Forward"

by ABakersTrilogyHasFourBooks



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Addiction - gambling, Ben Solo is a Mess, Broken people loving other also broken people, Codependency, Eating pizza more than is probably healthy, F/M, Family Issues, Feeling bad and feeling better, Loss/Grief, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Slow Burn, Support Group AU, anger issues, bouncing between past and present tense like we're on a trampoline, breaking stuff, but aren't we all?, moving forward, no beta we die like men, working on stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:35:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28603785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABakersTrilogyHasFourBooks/pseuds/ABakersTrilogyHasFourBooks
Summary: After yet another angry outburst at work, Ben Solo must complete 12 sessions at "Journey Forward" support group in order to keep his job. He meets several other normal people, including an interesting woman named Rey, who are wrestling with challenges of their own. Maybe things really can get better.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 18
Kudos: 22





	1. The monitor...broke.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, welcome to my Support Group AU. The characters will all be working through something in this story, and some of their struggles may mirror or possibly trigger memories of your own. Anxiety, depression, addiction, loss, grief, and recovery are all major themes here, as well as therapy and medication. So please keep that in mind as you decide whether or not to read <3

The window Ben had been typing in for the last 45 minutes froze. Again. He wiggled the mouse but the cursor remained in place. The auto save feature was sluggish and he hadn’t taken the time to manually back up the file since he’d gotten into a flow. And then, without warning, the screens cut to black and the computer began the reboot cycle.

Ben reacted before his brain caught up, fingers tightening around the mouse and arm lobbing it forward, where it hit the center monitor on his desk, shattering the glass. It ricocheted off and hit his brow, missing his right eye by inches. “FUCK!,” he yelled, more out of frustration than anything. He wrenched his body out of the padded office chair and stormed to the restroom to survey the damage to his face. Blood trickled down his cheek and dripped onto the gray bathroom tile. He grabbed a paper towel and pressed it to the area, which was rapidly swelling. He closed his eyes, wishing he could rewind the past few minutes. Without returning to his office, Ben hauled himself directly to his boss’s office and rapped on the door. He wondered if he could carry all of his shit out in one load or if he’d need to shamefully make two trips. Fuck it, he decided. He’d rather just leave it all behind. 

~~~

Leonard Beckdahl was a flexible, understanding man. He had attended college with Ben’s uncle Luke and had hired Ben right out of college based on his recommendation. Ben’s computer engineering abilities had astounded him from the get go and he was extremely pleased with his productivity and ingenuity. The problem was, Ben didn’t play well with others. At all.  
In fact, not six months after starting at Beckdahl Enterprises, Ben been given his own small office less as a reward for his hard work and more as a reward/protection for the coworkers who had put up with his shenanigans in the cube farm for long enough. More than one person had expressed their gratitude on the occasion. Lenny had also discreetly reinforced all of the framed pictures hanging in and around Ben’s office after his door slamming had sent multiple frames crashing to the ground. Luckily, Ben kept his office door shut at all times, and his space was insulated well enough that his shouts of rage and fist banging didn’t bother those working nearby. Lenny had a sneaking feeling that the large piece of art that had suddenly appeared in Ben’s otherwise barren office was hiding a spot of broken drywall in the shape of a fist. 

Lenny heard the forceful knock on his door and saw Ben’s shadow through the plexiglas. “I need to call you back,” he told the client he was speaking with, hanging up and murmuring, “Come in.” He braced himself. Ben Solo only entered his office over serious matters. 

Ben entered and planted himself, gripping the back of the chair in front of his boss’s desk. His posture was that of a broken man, his giant frame curling in on itself like a dying plant as he hunched over the chair, head drooping. Leonard noted the huge, swelling gash above Ben’s brow and impressive bruise purpling near his eye, which was avoiding his gaze completely. Lenny sighed.  
“What can I do for you?” he asked, decidedly ignoring the signs that something had gone quite wrong for his talented employee. Ben lifted his head and began to beg, a gruesome sight.

“Please don’t fire me,” Ben began, fear and desperation tinging his features. Lenny closed his eyes and drew a deep, slow breath, steeling himself. “I’ll pay to replace it,” he added.

“Replace what, Solo?”

“Uh, one of my monitors. It…broke.”

“And how did that happen?” Lenny pressed. Ben sighed, running a hand through his hair. 

“I threw the mouse at it. I can replace that too, if it doesn’t work. I didn’t check yet.” 

Leonard rubbed a hand over his face. Both items could be replaced rather easily, but he was more concerned about his most promising engineer staying in one piece. He had told Ben after his first bout of anger that it was important for him to come clean immediately after something happened, so they could work together to fix it. Ben was nothing if not an honest man, and had been promptly turning himself in for his mistakes over the two years that he had worked at Beckdahl Enterprises. 

“What happened?”

Ben muttered something under his breath.

“Didn’t catch that,” Lenny said, folding his arms across his chest. 

“The system keeps crashing. I lost everything I was working on.”

“Did you ask IT about it?” 

“…no.”

“I see.” Leonard stood, stretched, and turned to look out the large window behind his desk. He knew it was time to intervene. Ben had to get himself under control before someone got hurt. “This seems to be a recurring problem, Ben. These outbursts of yours. This is not the first time we’ve had this conversation.” He looked pointedly at Ben, who hung his head, looking like a kicked puppy. A large one. Great Dane, maybe. Leonard opened his desk drawer, rifled through some papers, and handed a blue and yellow pamphlet to Ben. 

“Journey Forward?” Ben read, flipping the pamphlet open and skimming. He squinted doubtfully at the information inside before looking back up to his boss. “What’s this?”

“It’s a recovery program. For people dealing with just about anything. Addiction, grief, anxiety, depression…anger issues.” He said the last part with extra emphasis. Ben grimaced.

“But I-” Lenny cut him off with a wave of his hand. 

“You are going to attend 12 sessions. And then we will evaluate from there. I’ll email a form to you. You’ll collect a signature from a leader each week to show you attended. It’s time for you to do something about this, Ben.” Ben’s face contorted between annoyance, disgust, guilt…and finally, acceptance. 

“Yes, sir,” he said quietly, taking the pamphlet. 

“Now, go get some ice on that before your eye swells shut.” Ben left, closing the door gently behind him. Leonard nodded to himself. Hopefully, Ben could get some help. He would hate to see such a promising young man sabotage himself beyond repair. 

~~~

“Of course it’s in a fucking church,” Ben muttered under his breath as he parked his truck in front of the destination his GPS had brought him to. He felt duped. He’d looked into the whole “Journey Forward” thing the week after the monitor incident. Apparently, the group met twice per week, with dinner provided at 6pm followed by some sort of “programming” and “small group” from 6:30-8:30. Two hours seemed like an eternity to spend in a church, so Ben had rolled in at 6:25 and planned to stay for as little time as he could. Whatever it took to get that signature he needed. He figured he’d hit it up twice weekly and get the whole thing over with as quickly as possible now that his face was healing up. He slammed the door of his black Ford Nissan and walked toward the church entrance.


	2. The pizza...is free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Rey and Finn and a lot of pizza.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perspective will be switching around a bit throughout this.

Rey Walkertino had been attending Journey Forward with her roommate, Finn, for three months when Ben Solo first walked into the narthex of the church looking as though he were expecting himself to burst into flames. 

“Hot guy alert,” she whispered to Finn, who immediately looked up. His jaw nearly dropped as his eyes landed on the man who had just entered. 

“Oh shit,” he breathed. “That’s Ben Solo.”

“THE Ben Solo?” Rey whispered back, unable to look away. Ben Solo had had a starring role in Finn’s ranting work sagas since Finn started the job almost a year ago. Apparently this guy threw epic fits in the workplace that could rival those of a toddler’s tantrums. Finn and Rey had speculated that Ben must have had some serious dirt on Leonard, the owner of the company, and was therefore allowed to behave ridiculously without fear of consequence. There was no other explanation for how a grown man could get away with such behavior without facing serious repercussions. She took in his hulking frame, hunched posture and handsome but anxiety ridden features. His face was bruised around his eye like he’d been in a fight. Rey was just deciding that he looked somewhat nervous when she realized she had been staring at him for far too long and turned away, stuffing the rest of her pizza crust into her mouth. 

“Oh God, I think he saw me,” Finn groaned. Rey chanced an additional sideways glance and confirmed that Ben Solo was indeed making a beeline for where she and Finn stood. She felt torn between ditching Finn and sticking around to see how this played out. Finn latched onto Rey’s forearm, digging his nails into her skin before she could escape and held her there as Ben approached.

“Hey Ben,” Finn greeted, rising above his lack of enthusiasm in the name of good manners. “How’s it going?” Ben shrugged, glancing around the place before looking at Finn and Rey. 

“It’s been better,” he said. His voice was deep and mysterious and Rey could have listened to him read a phone book for hours. “Is that free?” he asked, indicating the pizza boxes strewn across a nearby table.

“Yep,” Rey said, throwing her empty plate away. “I mean, you can make a donation if you want, but they aren’t going to take your food away if you don’t.” Ben squinted at a donation jar set on the table and pulled his wallet out. Rey figured the flatteringly cut black slacks and steel gray button down meant he hadn’t bothered to change after work. She and Finn, both in the habit of shedding their work clothes as soon as they entered their apartment, were in jeans and t-shirts. Rey watched as Ben crammed several bills into the jar before loading a plate with five slices of pepperoni pizza and digging in. He hovered awkwardly by Finn, who was at a loss for words. The whole Journey Forward organization was rooted in the importance of protecting the privacy of its participants. The rules strictly stated that everything said during a meeting was to remain confidential. Finn didn’t want to ask why Ben was there, but he had several theories. He settled for watching Ben annihilate his pile of pizza.

“I’m Rey, by the way,” she said after a beat, breaking the silence before it became unbearably awkward. Ben nodded, mouth full, yet extended the hand that wasn’t holding his heaping plate. She shook it firmly and smiled at him as he chewed. Her eyes darted to the bruising around his brow but she decided not to ask. “I’m Finn’s roommate. Is this your first time here?” He nodded again, continuing to eat. “We’ll give you the rundown then.” Rey locked eyes with Finn and nudged him. 

“Right. So yeah, there’s always pizza or sub sandwiches first, then someone talks for a bit or gives a message, then small groups, and then basically a social hour where people connect and eat snacks. They feed us well here.”

“What kind of message?” Ben asked around his pizza. He was consuming it alarmingly fast, like a person who hadn’t eaten a real meal in weeks. 

“Sometimes it’s a testimony,” Rey said. Ben’s eyes narrowed. “Like, someone shares about their journey forward and what they’ve been working on.” Ben’s expression remained skeptical as Rey went on. “Other times, one of the group leaders gives a general message relating to recovery or grief or whatever other topic we’re on. Tonight it’ll be more about Boundaries, which is good. Pastor Steven is awesome.” Rey thought she detected a flinch from Ben upon hearing the word “pastor” so she elaborated. “It’s in a church, yes, but they don’t push the religious stuff on you. Some people are believers but a lot of us aren’t. They base a lot of this stuff in the neuroscience of habit and recovery.” Finn picked up the evening’s schedule from there. 

“After the message we break into small groups divided by gender and whatever issue you’re dealing with.” He gestured toward a sign hanging on the door to the auditorium. “That’ll tell you what groups are being held and where. Then the social time, like Rey said.” Ben swallowed a bite of his food.

“So who signs off as proof that you’ve been here?” he asked. Finn bit back a smile. He’d imagined Ben wasn’t here of his own accord. Finn himself had learned of the group in a packet of resources the HR department at Beckdahl Enterprises had provided him with when he had been hired. He was attending by choice though. 

“The small group leaders. They’ll sign at the end of the session.” The auditorium lights flashed off and on to indicate that the message was about to begin. Finn and Rey tossed their napkins in the trash and looked at Ben, who still had a slice of pizza on his plate and whose brows were furrowed as though he were deep in thought. 

“You can bring that in with you as long as you get the trash put away when you’re done. Lots of people eat during this part.” Finn turned and walked toward the door to the auditorium, feeling as though he had given Ben all the information he’d needed and could now leave him behind in good conscience. Rey paused though, sensing that Ben needed a little further encouragement. She remembered her first night. She’d been grateful to have Finn to cling to, and later, Rose, who she’d met in her small group. Going it alone must be terrifying. 

“Come on, Ben, you can sit with us,” she said with a smile. He nodded once more, relief spreading across his features, and followed her in. He sure seemed quiet for someone infamous for his loud outbursts. Rey couldn’t help but wonder if that was going to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IDK, I thought maybe this was Rey's last name ;) *shrug* Happy to hear your thoughts! This group is loosely based around a really good support group I attended years ago.


	3. What the fuck is cross-talk?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben survives a small group. Barely.

Ben fidgeted in his seat while the man on stage explained the importance of “putting a metaphorical fence around your emotional backyard”. He knew that the people sitting around him had real issues and that he didn’t belong, but he didn’t want to offend Finn from Finance or his pretty friend by saying so. The pizza was a bonus, he’d worked through lunch and hadn’t had anything since his morning protein shake. 

He glanced at Rey, who was listening intently and scribbling notes on a handout they’d received at the door. She was tiny, at least a foot shorter than his 6’3”, but carried herself with confidence and what seemed to be a large personality. And she was pretty, really pretty. Ben was grateful that she’d let him sit with them. He didn’t know Finn well, just knew he’d worked in the Financial Department for a while and said hello to him in the hallway rather than averting his gaze like everyone else. He seemed to have quite a large group of friends at the office, always eating lunch with a group of their coworkers or making plans. Ben envied this ease with others. When he did leave his office, he ate alone and most people gave him a wide berth. He supposed he deserved that treatment given the way he behaved.

Ben had struggled with anger and irritability for as long as he could remember. He didn’t have a lot of friends growing up. Some kids, new kids, usually, would talk to him or even play with him at recess, but then he’d have a meltdown and they would no longer look him in the eye. It was hard. He didn’t want to be angry, it just seemed inevitable. Every day was a battle against himself. Some mornings, he’d tell himself things would be different, that he wouldn’t fly off the handle or yell, that he’d take deep breaths or walk away instead. But then little things would start to bug him, like the sound of someone’s loud phone conversation or chewing or the way he couldn’t find the right words to explain what he was working on or even how he felt, and he could feel tension rise in his body. His heart would start to race and everything would seem so loud and overwhelming that he couldn’t concentrate on the code he was writing and kept making dumb mistakes that should have been beneath him. If he couldn’t get away and calm himself, he’d inevitably lose it and do something stupid, like throw his mouse at a monitor or yell. 

Ben wasn’t sure why he couldn’t just man up and behave like a normal, rational human being, but he also had no idea how listening to a man talking about boundaries and gates was going to help him. He’d collect his signature and get through this group thing like Leonard said.

~~~

“What did you think?” Rey asked when the talk was over. Ben shrugged. He’d only caught about half of what was being said and most of it didn’t seem to apply to him. It would be nice to stop other people from messing up your life, but it wasn’t so easy. 

“It was okay,” he said.

“Just okay, huh? Personally, I love this boundaries stuff. I feel like life would be easier if people everyone heard this talk. Maybe then people wouldn’t stomp all over each other.” She went on about a book she’d read on the subject as they followed Finn out of the room. They came to an intersection of hallways and Rey turned to go left; Finn, right. Ben stopped and looked from one to the other.

“Men and women go in separate groups,” Rey said, almost apologetically. “Go with Finn and we’ll meet up afterward, okay?” She wiggled her fingers in a wave and followed the other women. Ben wished he could follow her. 

“C’mon, Solo, this way,” Finn said, and he followed him into a room. 

~~~

Ben was immediately not cool with the setup of the room. The chairs were in a circle and guys were sitting so close their knees were almost touching. There were no remaining spots together, so he and Finn ended up across the circle from one another. Ben could feel his pulse quicken and he hovered behind a chair. 

“First time?” A man with wavy brown hair asked from the seat on his right. He nodded. “You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, when it’s your turn. A lot of people pass on their first night.” The man stuck out his hand and grinned. “I’m Poe.”

Ben gripped his hand, still standing. “Ben,” he mumbled.

“You gonna sit?” Ben took that as his cue to sink down into the chair. The guy to his left was staring at the floor and did not look up even when Ben’s chair jostled into his a bit. Poe opened his mouth to say something but before he could, the group was called to order.

“Hello, I’m Marcus and I’m the moderator for tonight. If this is your first time here, welcome. This is the men’s general issues group. If you are looking for addiction support, the room across the hall may be a better fit. If you are here for support in dealing with a family member’s issue, the room next door is for you. Please remember there is no cross-talk and you should keep yourself to five minutes or less. What is said in this room stays in this room. I’ll sign attendance sheets when we are finished. Any questions?” Ben stared at Marcus, who was a tired looking man with glasses, probably in his mid to late forties. He had a lot of questions, in fact, the main one being ‘what the fuck?’ but he decided to just see what happened. “Great, we’ll begin with Poe,” Marcus finished, and Poe nodded. 

“Hi, I’m Poe, and I’m dealing with, uh, codependency and boundaries, and uh, gambling?” he scratched his head and smiled a bit. “Yeah.” 

“Hi, Poe,” everyone chorused. This freaked Ben the fuck out and he glanced toward the door, wondering if he could just tip his chair backward and scramble out, or perhaps leap over Marcus completely and make a clean getaway. His palms were sweaty. 

“It was a pretty good weekend. My boss called me on Sunday and I let it go to voice mail, so that’s big. I wasn’t even really doing anything, just relaxing, so I could have answered it…but I didn’t. And that felt pretty good.” Ben noticed several men nodding at what Poe was saying, but no one responded to him. “Anyway, one of my buddies from work tried to get me to play Sabacc with him and a few guys…I said no, but it really sucked. Because they’re my friends, y’know? Of course I want to hang out with them, but I’m trying to do better with the gambling thing so I didn’t go. So I guess that’s a win? I ended up getting this new flight simulator game for the Xbox, so that’s good.” 

“Which one did you get?” Ben asked, trying to break the awkward silence. Several people looked up, and Poe’s jaw dropped a little before he caught himself and gave Ben a sympathetic look. Marcus spoke up. 

“Hey, no cross-talk please.” Ben felt his ears redden.

“What the fuck is cross-talk?” he demanded. It felt like the air was sucked out of the room, a painful awkward silence, like everyone was in on something except for Ben. 

“I should have explained earlier. Cross talk is speaking when someone else has the floor. We take turns here, and when someone is speaking, it’s just our job to listen. No responding, no offers of Kleenex or hugs or anything. That can all come later.” Ben’s brow creased in confusion. What kind of dick would just sit by when someone was upset? Marcus seemed to read his mind. “Hugging someone or handing them a Kleenex might make them feel like they need to stop crying or that they can’t continue speaking, when really, speaking their truth uninterrupted is extremely important.” 

“I’m sorry,” Ben said. He knew he must look like a tomato at this point. He avoided looking at Finn and folded his hands in his lap. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up. Poe was smiling at him. 

“Everyone has a first time. You didn’t know. I forgive you.” Ben nodded and dropped his gaze to his lap. Of course he’d be shit at support groups. 

Poe continued to talk about his weekend for a few more minutes and then fell quiet. The quiet lasted for several moments before Marcus spoke again. 

“It’s your turn,” he said, indicating Ben.

“Um, I’m here because my boss-”

“Will you tell us your name and what you are dealing with?” Marcus cut in. The whole thing was so weirdly formulaic. 

“Uh, okay.” Ben had already decided there was no way he was telling these weirdos his real name. The last thing he needed was for them to try to add him on Facebook or, god forbid, LinkedIn. “I’m…Ren. Kylo Ren. And uh…I’m dealing with…” Ben paused for a moment, uncertain how to word his circumstances. “I’m dealing with being mad most of the time. I broke my monitor. One of them, anyway. At work.” He stopped and looked around the group a little. There were about twelve guys in the room and all of them were looking at him. It was awful. After a beat, they repeated the weird robotic greeting.

“Hi, Kylo.” Ben intentionally avoided Finn and Poe’s eyes. Maybe they just would just accept that he was crazy and move on with it. 

“Um, hi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's be real, I have no clue how many chapters this thing is going to have. I never cover as much ground as I imagine I will. *shruggity*


	4. ...Kylo Ren?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things...develop.

Rey is distracted during small group time. She finds herself barely listening to the other women as they speak of their troubles and triumphs since the previous session. She couldn’t stop picturing the look on Ben Solo’s face before he turned to follow Finn down the hall. He looked…scared. It made her want to hug him even though she barely knows him. His brown eyes had seemed haunted and she wondered what the rest of his story was, beyond what Finn had told her. Suddenly she’s being nudged. Her head snaps forward and Rose is looking at her.

“Sorry, I was in the zone,” Rey apologizes to the group, realizing it’s her turn to speak. “I’m Rey and I am dealing with, well, a lot, really. Grief, anger. Figuring out the truth of who I am. I lost my parents when I was young and was raised by my uncle. I just found out that I may have a sister out there.” She takes a breath and everyone murmured their hellos. 

“I used to think he was my dad. My uncle, I mean. I didn’t find out I was adopted until it accidentally slipped out at Christmas last year. It turns out my uncle is actually my dad’s brother. I guess my parents…couldn’t handle me. They had their own issues. Meth, I think. I’m not sure. He doesn't talk about them much. I was able to forgive my Da- er, my uncle, thanks to you all, but…well, then, I found out that my mom had a daughter a few years older than me. Different dad. I thought I was an only child. I’ve always been an only child. I’m used to having no one, just Uncle. And now I have a mom and a dad and maybe a sister? And who knows what else! I just wish I’d known the truth all along.” She shakes her head, takes a deep breath. “So now I feel like a wound that was pretty much healed was just completely reopened, y'know? Like, I was over it, I was working through and moving on, and BAM, I’m back at square one.” Rey realizes she’s done, has nothing more to say, and the so called “baton” is passed to Cara, who shoots her a sympathetic look before introducing herself. 

Rey can’t help but tune out again as Cara goes on about her unrequited love for a man she works with on occasion. Her brain flits between Ben Solo’s vulnerable face and how angry she is with her uncle for keeping all of this stuff from her. She doesn’t hear the rest of what the ladies say, just replays her last conversation with her uncle again and again until it’s chip time. 

Their small group leader, Amilyn, opens the box of round plastic chips and asks if anyone is here for the first time. A timid young woman steps forward to accept her blue chip, a symbol of journey beginning. Amilyn looks to Rey and then asks if anyone is surrendering anything new, or starting a new journey. Rey gets up and accepts a new blue chip, turning it over and over again in her hands. Before she knows it, Rose has a hand on her shoulder and everyone is exiting the room, heading for the Snack Shack. 

“You okay?” Rose asks as they walk together. 

“Yeah, just thinking. Lots on my mind.”

“I bet. Geez.” They follow the masses of men and women making their way to the Snack Shack. It is held in the church’s Youth area, which is furnished like a cafe. Tables and chairs and comfy couches abound, as well as a pool table, climbing wall, and two old arcade game cabinets. Rey spots Ben’s head above several others; he and Finn appear to be in line for drinks. 

“Rose, look,” she points discreetly. “See that tall guy with Finn? That’s Ben Solo.”

Rose looks shocked. She had barely made it to small group and had missed the introductions. “The one from all the work stories?”

“The very one. It’s his first night.”

“Wow. I’m not sure what to say.”

They slide through the crowd until Finn sees them and breaks into a relieved smile. He hands Rey a can of Dr. Pepper and turns to get another for Rose. Rey turns to Ben, who is awkwardly clutching a bottle of water and looking uncomfortable.

“How was it?” 

Ben shakes his head, “I was terrible.”

“What do you mean? This is Rose, by the way.” He shakes Rose’s hand and continues.

“I broke the rules.”

A man with wavy brown hair and a 100 watt smile who Rey hadn’t even noticed was standing there pats Ben on the shoulder. 

“It was fine! Our leader was very brief with the rules beforehand. Honest mistake.” Rey glances from this man to Finn, who is pointedly avoiding her gaze. 

“I’m Rey,” she says, extending her hand. “I don’t believe we’ve met?”

“Hi, Rey, I’m Poe. It’s nice to meet you.” He’s incredibly charming, and handsome, and Rey is shocked that Finn hadn’t mentioned him before. 

“Are you new?” she asks.

“No, but I've been bouncing between groups…I typically attended a different one, up until now. Working on some different things,” he says with a shrug. Rey nods. A handful of people bounce around between small groups depending on what they are dealing with at the time. Rey turns back to Ben as they make their way to a nearby table. 

“Did you get your signature and everything okay?” He nods tersely and hovers behind a chair, eying the door. “You know, you’re free to go if you have somewhere else to be. Now that you have what you came for.” Ben opens his mouth, as if to object, then slides into the chair next to her. 

“It’ll get easier,” she tells him, as Rose tells the others about a trip she’d just returned from. “The first one is always the worst.”

“I wanted to leave,” Ben admits, fiddling with the label on the water bottle he’s clutching.

“I did too, on my first night. Didn’t feel like I belonged. But now,” she shrugs. “Now I look forward to coming. Focusing on progress and seeing my friends. It’s…refreshing. To do something for me.” 

“What do you do?” Ben asks. “For work.”

“Well, by day, I work as an underwriter for an insurance company,” she sticks her tongue out. “But by night? I restore and repurpose furniture and consign it.” 

“What’s that like?” 

“Amazing. People throw away so many perfectly good things! I have found some incredible pieces of furniture that just needed some TLC and a little paint. I love taking broken things and breathing life into them.” Ben nods, solemn, and Finn leans over to interject. 

“Rey can do amazing things with a can of spray paint, but our apartment is so overly crowded with furniture, it’s ridiculous.” She scowls at him. 

“Hey, it’s not my fault storage spaces are exorbitantly priced!” she shoots at Finn before turning back to Ben. “He’s just salty that I don’t always give him first pick. I’ve got to make money somehow!” 

“So the consignment shops don’t offer much storage?” Poe asks.

“Most only store things they have directly purchased from you. I mean, I get that. But sometimes they pass over stuff that I think is amazing!”  
“Have you considered taking it online?” 

“I’ve done a little on Etsy and such, but they do have fees. I’d create my own website if I knew how, but I don’t exactly have time between work and…work.” She smiles, shrugging. “Maybe someday I’ll be able to open my own shop!”

“I know you will,” Rose says. Her entire apartment is furnished with Rey's pieces. Ben reaches into his wallet and pulls out a card, handing it to Rey. 

“Here,” he says, and she peers at it. It’s a business card. Black with gray writing and modern geometrical shapes. “I could help you throw together a website quite easily.”

“Kylo Ren?” she reads out loud. “Is that your alter ego?” Ben’s cheeks redden. 

“It’s my handle, online. Something I chose when I was younger. I’d change it but I have quite a following now.” He shrugs, looking more comfortable than he has been all night. “Anyway, creating a website is easy once you’ve secured a domain name.” Rey smiles, looking into his eyes, which are a pretty shade of brown.

“Thanks, Ben. I appreciate it.” He smiles at her and it lights up his features entirely. 

“So do we call you Ben or Ren?” Poe interjects, face propped on his hand. Rey looks up and catches Finn staring at Poe. She begins to form a hunch. 

“Um, either is fine. I answer to both.” Ben’s smile ebbs away and the discomfort returns.

“Why’d you give your online name instead of your first name?” Poe continues.

“I don’t know, it just came out.” Poe looks like he’s going to continue pestering Ben, so Rey jumps in. 

“Hey, it’s okay. I completely zoned out and didn’t even realize it was my turn until Rose brought me back down to earth. These nights can be really hard, especially in the beginning.”  
The others nod and Finn takes the conversation from there, reminiscing about a time someone in his group said hello to themselves, and everyone is laughing. Poe mentions that it took him three tries to actually get out of his vehicle and enter the building. 

“I’d just sit in my car and try to force myself to go in, but I couldn’t move.”

“It’s hard to admit you need a hand,” Rose says.

“I’ll drink to that,” Poe says, raising his Coke in a toast. Rose, Finn, and Rey tap their cans against his and Ben lifts his water bottle half heartedly. As they drink, Rey tucks the business card in her back pocket and wonders how long she’ll be able to wait before sending Ben a text. There's a three day minimum on this kind of thing, right? Or maybe Ben will be at the next meeting. 

~~~

On the way home, she and Finn are quiet for a while. 

“When were you going to talk to me about Poe?” she finally blurts.

“I’d love to talk to you about Poe just as soon as we’re done talking about you and Ben,” he retorts. 

“Fair enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so, I accidentally switched to present tense in this chapter but didn't realize it until I was almost done *facepalm*. I decided to just leave it. So that may just be The Way going forward. 
> 
> Many recovery programs use a chip system. For AA and NA, the first chip is typically silver. But the group I attended, Celebrate Recovery, started with a blue chip, so I went with that.


	5. Yelling...at old ladies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old people + technology = *scream*

As much as Ben loathed the awkwardness of the small group experience, he had to admit that he had enjoyed interacting with people outside of work. He couldn’t remember the last time he had done something social without some sort of obligation tied to it. He could have left as soon as the horrendous small group experience was over, but the thought of talking to Rey more kept him lingering. He was proud of himself for not bailing immediately. The Thursday meeting went surprisingly smoothly with Rey waving him over to where she and the others stood when he entered the lobby and staying by his side for the majority of the night. He figured he had ten more sessions to figure out how to get Rey’s number before the whole thing ended. 

The thing was, Ben was genuinely more than happy to help her create a website. He’d seen the way her eyes lit up when she spoke of her side gig. He had meant what he said- it wouldn’t take long to create a website and he could get her up and running in a short period of time. He enjoyed creative endeavors such as this and had as much work as he wanted alongside his regular hours at Beckdahl. He didn’t want to force himself on her, though, so for the time being, the ball was in her court. She had his number.

The following Thursday, Ben was working on a piece of particularly fiddly code when his phone rang. He groaned when a name popped up on the caller ID- Maz Kanata. She was an elderly client, a friend of his mother’s, who always called him directly regardless of her question. He had tried time and time again to explain that he wasn’t in the customer service department, merely a ‘behind the scenes’ guy, but it didn’t phase her. When she had a question about her account, she called him. He decided to let it ring. He could call her back later when he had the code stuff figured out. Eventually, the ringing stopped. He sighed in relief and continued working. 

Not two minutes later, Ben’s computer made the sound that indicated he had a new email message. He minimized the window he was working in and saw that Maz had sent him an urgent looking email in all caps. He was to CALL IMMEDIATELY IT IS IMPORTANT THANK YOU. He never understood why older people tended to scream in their emails and ignore punctuation as well. Not a minute after he closed the email app (which would silence those notifications) his phone rang again. It was her. He swiped to indicate that he would not be answering…and she immediately called again. By now, he could feel his tension mounting. He had been working on this stupid piece of code for far longer than it should have taken, which would have been frustrating enough if it weren’t for Maz’s incessant pestering. He put his phone on Do Not Disturb, took a deep breath, and went back to working. 

Five minutes later, a knock on the door startled him. He got up and opened it, almost expecting to see Maz’s ancient, wrinkled face staring up at him. Instead he found Leonard Beckdahl himself, looking concerned. 

“Hey, Ben. Are you busy?”

“Yes,” he replied irritably, before catching himself. “I’ve just been stuck on something for a while but I think I’ve almost got it figured out.” 

“I’ve got Maz Kanata on the line for you? She says she’s been trying to reach you for a while?” Ben bit back his disgruntlement and asked what line she was on. 

“Line 3.”

“Thanks so much,” Ben muttered, snatching up his phone and practically growling, “Yes?”

“Oh THERE you are Benny Boy! I was getting worried, yes I was. You weren’t answering and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why! I thought maybe you’d changed your phone number but my heavens, I’d recognize that voice anywhere and I-”

“Maz,” Ben growled. “What do you need?”

“Well dear, I’m afraid there’s a problem with my…well, with the box? You know, the one with the blinking lights?”

“Blinking lights?” 

“Yes the computer box with the blinking lights and all the plugs.” Ben rubbed his temples. 

“That’s your router, Maz, and unfortunately, you’ll have to call your cable company for help with it. I have to-”

“It’s just that the lights aren’t blue any more. They are red. And some of them went away, Benny. I swear there used to be five or six but no, now there are only…well, let me count them. Hold on, Ben.”

“MAZ?” Ben practically yelled into the phone. No response. Ben didn’t have time for this. He decided it’d be best to hang up and pretend the connection was lost. And so he did. 

“I don’t know what the fuck is up with that old bat,” Ben said to himself as he turned his attention back to his code. “But it’s not my fucking problem.”

It was then that Ben discovered that, rather than hanging up, he’d actually managed to put Maz on speaker phone. 

“I’m sorry I bothered you,” her voice came through, loud and clear and hurt. “I’ll leave you alone now.”

“Shit! Maz, wait! I can explain!” But it was too late, all he heard was dial tone. He looked up and there stood Leonard, who had apparently heard the whole thing. 

“Fuck,” Ben said softly, covering his face with his hands as he slumped into his chair. 

“Come with me, please.”

~~~~~~

It was a wonder that Ben hadn’t lost his job on the spot, and Ben thanked his lucky stars for it. Leonard suspended him, without pay, for two weeks. He also strongly suggested that Ben meet with a therapist, and gave him a handout from HR of those covered by his insurance plan. 

“Last chance,” Leonard had said, and Ben knew he meant it. 

He was grateful for the Journey Forward meeting that evening, if only so he could see Rey. He was too late for pizza, but she saved him a spot in the auditorium and smiled when he finally joined her. Ben missed most of what the speaker said, instead spending his time glancing at Rey and trying to figure out whether or not to share what had happened at the office earlier. 

“I’m glad you made it,” Rey told him as they exited the auditorium when the message was over. 

“Thanks for saving me a spot. It was a long day.” She furrowed her brows.

“Do you feel like talking about it?” He swallowed, but decided to come clean.

“Yes, can we talk after this?” She nodded her head and gave him a little wave as they went their separate ways. 

“Doing okay?” Finn held the door for him as they entered the small group room. Ben shrugged. 

“Been better, been worse.”

“That’s a mood, as the young folk would say,” Poe piped up. Finn made a face at him.

“What are you, 80?” Ben barks a laugh as he takes a seat. Finn and Poe sit to his right, and a guy he thinks is named Dave sits at his left. Ben has learned that if he makes it to the small group quickly enough, he can sit in whichever empty chair he pleases and let everyone else fill in around him.

Their small group leader, Patrick, kicks things off and the sharing begins. The first guy complains about relationship issues and how he’s struggling to trust his girlfriend because she lied to him in the past, the next guy is dealing with nightmares from some recurring trauma, another man shares that he has been sleeping with random people just to feel something and is scared what might happen. Then, it’s his turn.

“Hi I’m Kylo and uh, if I don’t get my shit together, I’m going to lose my job.”

“Hi, Kylo”

“Yeah, um, so I was just suspended from work because I yelled at an old lady in front of my boss. I can explain…”

~~~~

Ben was surprised how good it felt to explain what had happened at work to a nonjudgmental audience. He rambled a little about how he was told to start therapy but wasn’t sure if it would be a good fit for him. Finn and Poe went after him and he listened carefully to what they were dealing with. He felt that Finn needed to stand up for himself more, Poe needed to come out of the closet, and they honestly needed to bone. But it wasn’t his place to say so. 

He found himself spilling the same story to Rey when they sat together in the Snack Shack. She listened intently and squeezed his hand when he was done. 

“Someone told me that you know you’ve hit rock bottom when you put your shovel down and stop digging. I don’t think it applies to everyone, but, god, I have found a lot of relief once I accepted my self sabotage and decided to make a change.” Ben nodded at her, but imagined she had no idea how it felt to have an inner monster that wanted to tear everything in sight to pieces. That was okay. They didn’t have to completely understand each other to be supportive. 

“Is there anything you need from the office?” Finn asked. “Text me if so. I’ll keep my ears open and let you know if I hear anything you need to know.”

“Thank you, Finn. I appreciate it.” He added Finn to his contact list and shot him a text so he could do the same. Ben had known that Finn was well liked around the office for a long time, but was just beginning to understand why. He was incredibly supportive.

“How was your day?” Ben asked Rey. She groaned.

“It was awful. My boss is out to get me, I swear. I had my performance review and he marked me down as ‘partially meets expectations’ for so many things. When I asked what I could do better, he said nothing, really, he just didn’t give out perfect scores for anyone.”

“That’s ridiculous. Not to mention unmotivating!”

“That’s what I thought! The pay is so good, or else I’d be looking elsewhere.”

“What about your business?” He had not-so-casually looked up her humble business account, Daisy Does It, on Instagram and was impressed with her work. Now that his days were free, he was itching for a project. 

“I don’t know how realistic it is,” she muttered.

“Hey, don’t say that. Let me help you with the website thing. God knows I have the time for it,” he said earnestly. 

“I don’t know…”

“You think on it. In the meantime, I can text you a few websites that I’ve made and you can let me know what you think.” He swallowed, deciding to dive in. “What’s your number?” He looked up to her, feeling the heat creeping up his face, and saw Poe shooting him a thumbs-up from across the table.

Rey smiled and recited her number for him. “Thanks, Ben. Maybe it is time to start looking for something better.”

“Life’s too short to be miserable for 40 hours per week,” Rose said sagely. Everyone nodded in agreement. 

Ben smiled to himself. He’d actually gotten a girl’s number. Maybe things were going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the details you probably don't care about! I am just trying to set this whole thing up so everyone can run and play :)


	6. Alcohol...seems risky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Rey host a social gathering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the crappy formatting on this chapter, my laptop sabotaged me. Also, apparently we're in present tense now. Fun!

“So are you going to call Solo or what?” Finn presses Rey the second they get in the car.

  
“Ugh, I don’t know. I don’t know how much he charges and I feel like it’d be awkward if he were too expensive.” Finn barks out a laugh.

  
“I think you know he’d do it for free, Rey.”

  
She scoffs. “You can’t ask someone to do their job and not pay them for it!”

  
“You didn’t ask, he offered. More than once! At this send him a text about it!”

  
“Are you going to text Poe then?”

  
“What’s that got to do with it?”

  
“Everything!” Finn rolls his eyes. Rey’s phone beeps and she sees that she’s received a text.

**BEN:** Hey! Here’s a link to a few sites I’ve done. Let me know what you think!”

“Did he just text you?” Finn takes his eyes off the road to peer at Rey’s phone. She snatches it out of his view.

  
“No!” She clicks the link and begins scrolling. The websites are amazing, each of them utterly unique but beautiful and seamless. “Damn.” It would be so much easier to navigate this if the websites weren’t so awesome. Something like this could really launch her business forward.

  
“They’re good, aren’t they?”

  
“What?”

  
“Solo’s websites. I’ve seem some of the stuff he’s done. The guy’s got talent, that’s for sure. Just tell him you might be interested depending on your budget and see where it goes.”  
Rey bites her lip, considering. “I will…if you text Poe.”

  
Finn sighs but pulls his phone from where it is docked on the dashboard. At the next stoplight, he taps out a message and hits send, throwing the phone at Rey. She picks it up and reads.

**FINN:** Hey! If you’re not doing anything tomorrow night, Rey and I are having people over. She’s invited Rose and Ben.

She looks up and sees Finn grinning wolfishly at her. “Well played.” She types out a message for Ben.

**REY:** These look amazing! Thanks! Finn and I are having a few people over tomorrow night if you want to come?

She plays around on her phone for a minute, waiting for a response. When one doesn’t come, she sticks her phone in her purse and looks out the window.

  
“He’s probably just driving home,” Finn says, squeezing her shoulder. Rey nods, trying to look nonchalant. She’d forgotten how much putting herself out there could suck.

~~~

Rey leaves her phone in her purse for the rest of the evening. She and Finn watch a couple episodes of Schitt’s Creek before he heads off for a shower and she finally works up the nerve to check for a reply.

**BEN:** Sure, sounds fun. We can talk more about your website then? Just send me your address. And what time. And if I can bring anything.

She feels her cheeks warm as she types out her reply.

**REY:** Sounds great. 7? Just yourself :)

Her stomach flip flops and she finds herself excited for the day to come.

~~~

Work is a blur and despite her shitty review the day before, Rey is extra polite to her stupid supervisor. The prospect of expanding her business and leaving the world of commercial insurance behind forever has her heart absolutely singing. She has an incredibly productive day and before she knows it, it’s 5:00 and she’s heading home, butterflies invading her stomach with nervous excitement.  
She finds Finn in a similar state when she walks in the door. He’s pacing the kitchen, moving items around with no real purpose. Rey throws her bag down and grabs him by the arms.

  
“WHAT WERE WE THINKING?”

  
“I DON’T KNOOOOOW!”

  
They scream and hug each other and scream some more. Then, they get down to business. Rey hides the dirty dishes in the oven while Finn throws the clutter from their coffee table (and kitchen table, and end tables) in the hall closet. They artfully intermix a bag of double stuffed Oreos and a package of Chips Ahoy on a plate. Rey dumps a few bags of chips into bowls.

  
“Okay so…booze or no booze?” Finn asks. It’s a valid question considering they met these particular guests at a support group. Typically a bottle of rum and a few 2-liters would be ready to go on the counter.

  
“Ooh, that feels risky with this group, doesn’t it?”

  
“I think it’s probably a better safe than sorry situation. It would be super awkward to trigger someone into breaking sobriety.”

  
“Yes, your awkwardness would be the worst part of that situation,” Rey says, punching Finn lightly in the side. She grabs the coke out of the fridge and some cups from the pantry. She surveys the spread they have created and the relatively clean surfaces of the kitchen. “This looks pretty good.”

  
“How much longer until people start getting here?”

  
Rey checks her watch. “An hour and forty minutes,” she replies, and they burst into nervous laughter.

  
“What the hell are we going to do?” Finn shakes his head, throwing himself on the couch.

  
“Netflix?”

  
“I can’t concentrate.”

  
“…Netflix something we’ve seen before?”

  
“Excellent point,” Finn grabs the remote and loads New Girl. “Which season?”

  
“Obviously season 2,” Rey scoffs.

  
“Sorry, I just wanted to make sure.”

  
“Trust your gut, Phineas. It shall not lead you astray.”

~~~

They’ve debating whether to skip directly to the episode when Nick and Jess kiss when there’s a knock at the door. Finn pauses instantly and they stare at each other wide eyed.

  
“Who do you think it is?” he whispers.

  
“I don’t know, but they are ten minutes early!”

  
“What do we do?” They’re staring blankly at each other when the knocking comes again.

  
“We should probably let them in before they leave,” Rey whispers, launching herself off the couch. She takes a deep breath and opens the door to reveal Ben Solo, clutching a bouquet of wildflowers and looking utterly confused. Rey smiles and ushers him inside.

  
“I thought maybe you weren’t home,” Ben says, toeing off his shoes. Finn winces at Rey from across the room.

  
“We’re home! We were just…in the bathroom?” Finn shoots her a bizarre look from over Ben’s shoulder. Ben’s eyebrows furrow and he opens his mouth but then closes it. “Anyway, welcome to our place!” She walks him through the kitchen and living room and gestures vaguely down the hallway. “First door on the left is a bathroom. There’s also one in Finn’s room. Just in case.” She can almost hear Finn begging her to stop talking about bathrooms, but she can’t help herself. She finds casual wear Ben- jeans and a fitted black t-shirt- extremely handsome and it’s making her nervous. Luckily, Ben takes over the conversation.

  
“This is really cool,” he says, gesturing to the teal hutch along one wall of their living room. It’s filled with framed pictures of their friends and families. “Did you…make this?”

  
“Thanks! And I didn’t, like, build it from wood, but I did sand, repaint, and finish it. I added new hardware and distressed the wood.”

  
“You should have seen it before Rey got to it,” Finn interjects. “Total piece of shit. She definitely made it what it is now.” Rey shoots Finn a pleased, if slightly embarrassed, grin.

  
“It was a lot of fun.” Ben runs his hand over it and leans in to look at some of the photographs.

  
“It’s really unique.” The bookshelf on the perpendicular wall catches his interest next. “Is this one yours too?”

  
“Yes,” she replies, then glances quickly across the room. “I guess everything in here is, except for the couch and the La-Z-Boy.”

  
Ben inspects several pieces and nods his approval. “You’re really talented,” he says earnestly.

  
“Thank you, Ben. So are you! Those websites you sent me? Amazing!” He shrugs her off.

  
“That’s different. I could never do something with my hands like you have.”

  
“It might be different,” Rey says, crossing her arms and entering what Finn refers to as her Debate Position. “But it requires just as much creativity. And imagination. I start with a piece of furniture and just update it. You make something from nothing.” While they’re arguing, Poe and Rose arrive. Rey realizes she’s no longer nervous and just excited to have a fun night with friends.

  
The evening passes with snacks, funny stories, and a game Rose brought called Telestrations. It’s a combo of Telephone and Pictionary and has them all cackling at certain players’ terrible attempts at drawing.

  
“Ben, I am so sorry, but I thought that was a burrito,” Rose says, stifling a giggle.

  
“It’s a dog,” he says, looking almost offended. Rey’s eyes meet his and suddenly he’s smiling. “But I guess I can see how you thought that. Maybe a dachshund wasn’t the best choice.” Poe leans over, and shrugs.

  
“Either way, it looks like it’d be delicious with salsa.”

~~~

Rey is surprised how quickly the night goes. Rose ducks out early since she’s meeting her sister for brunch and they find themselves pairing off.

  
“Is now a good time to talk website stuff?” Rey asks, leading Ben to the kitchen table. She boots up her laptop.

  
“Absolutely. In fact, being here and seeing your style has given me some ideas.”

  
“Really?” She’s excited at the idea of taking the next step with her business.

  
“Yes,” Ben gestures toward the laptop, “May I?” She scoots it toward him and he’s typing a mile a minute, pulling up a program Rey’s never seen before. “Tell me about your name, Daisy Does It.” He continues typing and occasionally clicking while she thinks back to a few years ago, when she’d first plunged into this adventure.

  
“When I first started, I sold stuff on Craiglist and other swap sites. I didn’t want to use my real name, and daisies are my favorite flower. It’s a play on ‘Easy Does It’, I like how they sort of sound the same. Anyway, I like to keep things simple. I think people tend to keep adding more and more when honestly? There’s something to be said for knowing when to quit.”

  
“You’re right about that,” he says, and turns the laptop toward her. “What do you think?” Her jaw drops. He’s created a simple but beautiful logo for her in a matter of minutes. It’s black and teal in a loopy script with a small flower at the side.

“I love it, Ben! Wow! How did you come up with that so quickly? I didn’t know you did graphic design too!”

  
“Just basic stuff. Glad you like it.” His voice was steady but she noticed redness rising in his cheeks as he scratched the back of his head. “It seems to me you have a very good idea of what you’re all the about. Now we just need to give your customers a place to look through all that you have done.”

  
“I take pictures of everything I work on. I don’t love it all but I know that not everyone has the same taste I do.”

  
“If you send me those pictures, I’d be happy to create a gallery for your website,” Ben says with a smile. “And once it’s up and running, we can direct your social media pages back to it. It’ll be good to have one cohesive place for your customers to find your work.” Rey sighs. The idea of taking back control of her creations is enticing. She hates trying to cut deals with fussy consignment shops. She knows that some of them are so crowded with furniture that her pieces get lost in the mess.

  
“That would be amazing, Ben.” She places her hand on his forearm and squeezes. “You have no idea how much I appreciate your help. This has all felt so…unattainable in the past. Being able to work for myself sounds like a dream come true.” He nods in understanding.

  
“Independence is a gift. How did you get into the insurance industry?” He immediately notices the change in Rey’s demeanor, it reminds him of a deflating balloon. He wishes he could take the words back.

  
“My da-” she stops and shakes her head before continuing. “Uncle. My uncle was in the industry for years and always swore by it. Insurance is recession proof. Required by law. Always growing. He didn’t mention it’s mind-numbingly boring, to boot.”

  
“Is it?” Ben knows very little about insurance, aside from the fact that it costs him quite a bit of money and he has nothing to show for it.

  
“I mean, parts are okay. But I’m always arguing with someone. An agent who wants me to insure a business that has a ridiculous loss history. A marketing guy who will do anything to make a sale even if it makes zero sense.” She sighs. “There’s so little room for creativity.”

  
“Well maybe soon you’ll be able to move on,” Ben encourages. “You have an eye for creativity and I think that could definitely pan out for you in one form or another.”

  
“You’re kind. I don’t know how realistic it is to try and support myself with my art. My uncle always-”

  
“Who cares what your uncle says?” Ben interrupts her. It seems like a weird thing to be hung up about.

  
“He’s the only family I’ve got. He raised me. I thought he was my father until recently, when I found out the truth.” She feels herself redden at this odd confession but when she meets his gaze, it’s steady, free of judgment.

  
“Families are messy.”

  
“Yeah, they really are. I found out I have a sister out there. A half sister, my real father’s child. We’re only a year or so apart and I’ve never met her before.” Ben tries to imagine what she must be feeling. As an only child himself, it had been somewhat of a lonely upbringing. Finding out he’d had a sibling all along and could have had an ally in his dysfunctional home?

  
“You must be so frustrated,” he says. She looks up, eyes wide.

  
“Yes, that’s exactly how I feel. Frustrated! What if I’d had her growing up? I wouldn’t feel so alone. My uncle tried his best but he always seemed…detached. But a sister? We would have been there for each other. But now? It might be too late.” She tucks some errant hair behind her ear, shaking her head. “Sorry to drag you into all this, I’m sure you didn’t want to hear all that.”

  
“Rey, please. I’m happy to listen. I can’t imagine how hard your position must be.” With this encouragement, she continues, pacing the kitchen now, worrying a dish towel between her fingers.

  
“Should I reach out to her? What if she wants nothing to do with me? What if she hates me because she thinks I ignored her all my life? What if- what if she doesn’t want a sister at all?” Ben stands and walks toward where Rey is leaning against the stove, twisting the dish towel in her hands. He puts an arm on her shoulder and squeezes gently.

  
“I think anyone would be foolish to turn away someone like you.” She lifts her gaze from the towel she’s strangling to his eyes. “You’re bright, passionate, creative, outgoing. You were kind to me, a stranger, that first night I met you. You had no reason to be, I’m sure you’d heard stories from Finn. But you cared about my comfort anyway. Because you’re a good person with a big heart. If this woman doesn’t want to make time for someone like you, she’s crazy and she doesn’t deserve your time anyway.” Rey’s eyes are watery and she sniffles before smiling at him.

  
“Thank you for saying that, it-” His hand slides to her face and he cups her cheek softly.

  
“I mean it, Rey. Don’t discount your worth. I’m not going to tell you what to do about your sister, but give it some thought. Would you rather risk rejection? Or live in uncertainty? You’ll find your answer somewhere in there, I’m sure of it.” The fire in his eyes, a passionate belief in her, is too much for her to ignore. She abandons the towel on the stove and leans into his touch, taking his free hand in hers. He seems to be on the same page as he leans down, pressing his lips to hers. They pull toward one another like magnets and for the first time in a while, they both feel like they’re right where they are supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took a while longer than the previous ones! Work has been crazy. I was inspired, though, and I have an idea of the journey this story is going to take to the end :D


	7. kids...are nosy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stromboli, Search Engine Optimization, and voyeuristic children, oh my!

When Ben wakes the following morning, it’s with a smile on his lips. Memories of the previous night run through his head on repeat. Had he really kissed Rey? Beautiful, kind, hardworking Rey? Kissing him, the angry guy everyone at work avoided? He couldn’t believe his luck. They’d kissed in the kitchen for a while before making their way to the couch. A fire of longing had burned within Ben but he had managed to hold back, knowing that Finn and Poe were nearby (somewhere, though it had been a while since he’d seen them…) and could burst onto the scene at any moment. So the kissing had slowed and turned back into lazy, snuggly conversation. Eventually Rey’s yawns had punctuated every sentence and he had pulled himself away with the promise of returning as soon as he could.   
As content as he is to lay daydreaming in the sheets, Ben forces himself out of bed. He’d promised Rey an excellent website and an excellent website she would receive. He starts the coffee maker and turns to the refrigerator for sustenance, his eyes catching on a piece of paper he’d left on the counter. A list of “resources” Leonard had thrust at him before booting him out of his office for what Ben hoped was not the last time. Ben’s eyes scan the list to the neon yellow circle Leonard had hastily circled the names and phone numbers of several in-network therapists.   
Therapists. Ben scoffs as he extracts a package of bacon from the fridge and a skillet from the cabinet. He would never understand the concept of paying someone to try and fix his problems for him. If he couldn’t solve whatever the hell was the matter with him, how could he expect a stranger to do so? He puts the paper out of his mind and cooks himself breakfast, managing to singe his forearm with a few spatters of hot grease. Bacon is nearly as aggressive as he is. 

~~~~

He’s sitting down at his computer when his phone dings with a notification. 

REY: Good morning :)

He smiles, ignoring the flip flop in his chest as he types his reply. 

~~~~

Ben has a bare bones website up and running in no time. He keeps the design clean and viewer friendly, wanting Rey’s work to be the star of the show. Rey had sent him pictures of her work which he used to create a gallery that he’s neatly organized by piece. He’d taken a little extra time to crop and enhance her photos, just basic editing, really, and he’s pleased with the outcome. He texts her a link to www.daisydoesit.com and is not surprised when his phone rings a few moments later.   
“BEN!” she screams when he answers. “I-how…are you…WHAT?” He laughs, pleased that his work has rendered her speechless.  
“Do you like it?”   
“Do I LIKE it?” she huffs. “It’s AMAZING! But how? How did you make everything look so GOOD? And now I have my own dot com? I don’t know if I can afford that!” Her voice rings with excitement and a touch of apprehension. “I mean how much does that even cost?”   
“Don’t worry about it-”   
“No!” she interrupts, “This is too much! You can’t just PAY for everything, Ben!” He takes a breath, reminding himself that she likely has no idea how any of this works.   
“Rey, it’s actually very affordable. It’s $20 for a year of hosting, okay?” she’s silent for a moment. “Twenty dollars for you to have Daisy Does It dot com. That’s it. I coded the rest of it myself. It only took-” he looks at the clock, “two hours? With photo editing included.”   
“Yes and that’s the other thing! How did you make my furniture look so good? I don’t want to mislead people!”  
“Rey, your work IS good! It’s great, actually. I just cropped the pictures and balanced the colors and lighting a bit to account for the original photo and lighting quality.”  
“But-”  
“No buts. I saw your work in person last night. Nothing I did was misleading. If anything, you’ve been selling yourself short,” she inhales a bit sharply and he plows ahead, “not intentionally, of course! Phone cameras have a variety of settings. The default settings aren’t always the most flattering choice. I can show you how to manipulate them,” She’s silent for a moment and his stomach sinks. He had genuinely only meant to be helpful. But then a peal of laughter bursts from her mouth.  
“I can’t believe this is MY website! It’s like a dream come true,” she sighs happily and Ben’s heart swells. “I can’t thank you enough.”  
“It’s my pleasure,” he says, meaning it.   
“Can I take you out to dinner tomorrow night? As a thank-you?”  
“That’s really not necessary, Rey-”  
“You’ve done so much, Ben. Please just let me do this?”   
“Okay,” he agrees, “dinner sounds great.”

~~~~

Ben spends the afternoon on Search Engine Optimization for Rey’s website and then, with her permission, updates her Etsy account as well, adding the new logo he’s created and updating images. His phone rings and he grabs it quickly, freezing when he sees his mother’s face on the screen. He ignores the call. Not today. 

~~~~

The next 24 hours drag on. Ben feels like a kid waiting for school to let out before summer break. He spends some time processing (aka deleting) emails and scrutinizing his latest work but nothing can hold his attention. He’s twitchy and can’t stop running his hands through his hair, or drumming his fingers on the table top. He feels antsy, like he could run a marathon even though he’s never done more than a 10k since college. After checking the same line of code four times in a row, he gives up and changes into his gym clothes.   
He completes a punishing upper body workout, more reps at higher weights than he’s done in ages, and manages to follow it up with a 5k before he finally feels like he can focus. 

~~~~

Rey texts Ben the address to a restaurant he’s never heard of and he tries to force himself to wait a reasonable amount of time before getting into his truck and heading in that direction. He sits in his car outside the restaurant and fucks around on his phone until enough time passes that he’s early, but not unreasonably early. He gets out of the truck, locks it, and heads toward the door. He decides to stand outside and wait for her, peering through the plate glass windows to get a feel for the place.   
It’s…interesting. Avelluto’s Italian Delight appears to be in a category of dining he can’t quite place. It’s not a sit down and order from menus type of place, but it’s not really fast food, either. The walls are decorated with motorcycle paraphernalia, but there’s also a replica of Michelangelo’s David (with a strategically placed leaf) standing along one wall. A line of people wait to order at the front counter, and the place is crowded, but the food he’s seeing carried out on steaming, full plates, looks much nicer than what he’d expect to see at a place where you are in charge of your own refills.   
“Hey!” Ben turns to see Rey standing next to him. She is breathtaking. She’s always been very pretty in his eyes, but so far, he’s only seen her at the end of a long work day when she’s exhausted. She looks lighter, somehow, rested and happy. Her eyes are bright and she’s accentuated them with eyeliner or something (Ben’s not exactly sure what) and they sparkle. Her hair is down instead of tied back like usual and it frames her face beautifully. She’s wearing a flowy white skirt and a simple black top cut to flatter her perfectly. He’s speechless as he takes her in, then realizes he’s been staring like a weirdo and feels his face redden.  
“Hi,” he says dumbly. “You look beautiful.” Rey’s cheeks redden but she looks pleased, so he takes her hand and squeezes it.   
“You look like nice too,” she says, smiling up at him. “Come on, I’m starving.” She pulls him inside and they get in line. “I know it doesn’t look like much, but this place has the best Italian food I’ve ever had,” she tells him. “I suggest the stromboli, it’s amazing. I usually get a salad to go with it, or a slice of pizza.” She shrugs.  
“Carbs with a side of carbs? Smart woman.”   
“Thank you,” she says. “I always get the tira misu, too, or the cheesecake. Let’s get one of each and share.” Ben smiles. He likes how she’s taking charge, making decisions with confidence. It’s refreshing, the way she knows what she wants. 

As they eat, he fills her in on what he’s done to promote her and what else he recommends to build her business.   
“Honestly? Social media is great for marketing yourself. A NextDoor business profile is a smart choice since people aren’t likely to travel far for furniture. I think it’s worth making a profile on Yelp, too. You can ask anyone who owns any of your pieces to write a review for you.”  
“And all these are free? I guess I never realized it!”  
“Yes, it’s amazing what you can do for yourself for little to no cost. I had another idea I wanted to run by you,” she nods for him to continue. “Have you considered taking requests? I know there are plenty of well off women in Leawood who would easily pay for someone to hunt down the perfect furniture for their space and customize it for them.” Rey’s eyes widen and he can tell she hasn’t thought this far. “Just a thought,” he adds quickly.   
“Ben, you’re a genius! How do you know all this stuff?” He rubs the back of his head and shrugs.   
“I was surrounded by entrepreneurs growing up” She nods, taking a bite of her stromboli and dipping it in sauce.   
“Does your family live nearby? Are you close?” He bristles at this, but she’s looking out the window at a bird hopping down the sidewalk.   
“They’re in Lawrence. My mom’s a professor at KU and my dad owns a body shop. Things are…complicated with them.” He glances up and she’s nodding at him.   
“Family’s hard,” she says, placing her hand on his and squeezing. He’s grateful that she doesn’t ask him to elaborate. He doesn’t have the words to explain. Ben nods in agreement and squeezes back.

Dinner and dessert go smoothly with none of the awkward silence Ben usually finds himself in when he’s with others. Rey is a great conversationalist, always asking questions and really listening for the responses. He feels heard in a way he hasn’t felt in a long time, not since, well…ever, maybe. There’s something about this woman. He’s not sure what exactly she seems in him, but whatever it is, he hopes it sticks. 

Rey eats the last bite of tira misu and glances to the remaining cheesecake on Ben’s plate. They’d shared both desserts, as she’d intended, but Rey seems to have the bigger sweet tooth between the two of them. He pushes the last few bites of cheesecake toward her.  
“Are you sure?” she asks, eyes widening like he’s just slid a $20 bill her way.   
“Please,” he says, and he doesn’t have to ask twice. She pulls the plate the rest of the way toward herself with a grin.  
“You are my new favorite person.” He waves her off.  
“Every gentleman knows the lady gets to finish the dessert. Especially when there’s chocolate involved.”  
“I like the way you think, Ben Solo.”

~~~~

They linger outside the restaurant, neither wanting to be the one to end the night. Ben finds himself wondering if there’s a way to invite her back to his apartment without sounding like a lech. His intentions are mostly pure (he enjoys being around her) although he’d be lying if he said he wouldn’t be opposed to a little something more. He’s just mustered the courage to ask her when she checks the time on her phone and sighs.   
“I should probably get going. My boss asked me to come in early tomorrow…” With little forethought, Ben swoops in and kisses her, and their teeth clack together a little. He draws back, red faced and feeling foolish about his overly enthusiastic move.   
“I’m sorry-” he starts, but she interrupts, pulling him back to her by the lapels of his shirt. This time, when their lips meet, no teeth are involved. Rey releases his shirt, and she presses her body closer until they are flush against each other. Her hands slide up his chest, his neck, and come to rest on his jaws, cupping his face, a thumb gently brushing over his cheek. A shiver runs through him as he runs his hands over her shoulder, her back. He wants to lift her up and hold her against the brick wall of the building and-  
“Mommy, what are they doing?” a tiny voice yells out. Ben and Rey fly apart and turn to see a small red-haired boy pointing and walking toward them. His mother rushes to his side and grabs his hand, shooting them an incredibly dirty look.   
“Come away from there, Jimmy!” she cries, yanking him away.  
“Okay but why-”   
“Enough!” The mother pulls her son toward the restaurant and he looks back at them one last time, eyes wide and curious, until finally, thankfully, he disappears inside.   
Ben and Rey turn to one another, faces flushed, eyes just as wide as Jimmy’s.  
“Uh,” he says.  
“So that happened,” Rey replies.  
They look at each other for another moment, then burst out laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so dang long! I have actually been working on later chapters and then trying to figure out the best way to get to where we are going! Hopefully it was worth the wait? Also, screw formatting, ain't nobody got time for hitting enter that many times.
> 
> Fun fact- this restaurant exists in my town and it is THE BEST!


End file.
